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An Ode to Economics
By Jim Kurre © 2001
(to the tune of “Dirty Laundry” by Don Henley)
Click here to hear a midi version of the music.

Students enter, milling, chatting.
Kurre and Weller enter in robes.
Just before Weller begins, Kurre slams book down.
(Students sit fearfully, attentive, taking notes.)

Dr. Weller:
I make my living teaching Econ here,
I draw a thousand graphs, not a one is clear.
My goal is to instill fear!
I teach Economics.

Dr. Kurre:
I teach ‘em all about monopoly.
On exams they do it sloppily,
So I flunk ‘em all with glee--
This is Economics!

Chorus (all “students”):
Demand curve's up,
Supply curve's down.
Or does it go
The other way round?
Supply curve's up
Demand curve's down
That won't make
K urre frown.

Student 1:
I could've studied Finance but I made a mistake.
Now I'm learning macro and it's making my brain ache.
And Weller gives no one a break,
This is Economics!

Student 2:
I'm studying micro—economies of scale.
Every graph I look at makes me feel dumb as Dan Quayle.
They even send it by e-mail,
This damn Economics!

Student 3:
I'm taking metrics, learning how to fit curves.
This one's the worst, it's rippin' out all my nerves.
These profs are all a bunch of pervs,
With their Economics.

Chorus (all “students”):
Demand curve's up,
Supply curve's down.
Or does it go
The other way round?
Supply curve's up
Demand curve's down
That won't make
Kurre frown.

Student 4:
Wait a minute, it's starting to make sense!
Suddenly I don't feel quite so dense.
In fact I'm full of arrogance--
I know Economics!

All 4 students:
Now I'm ready, rarin' to go
Get out in the world and make a ton of dough
Cause we can let the bullcrap flow
We know Economics!

(All shovel on third line. Profs shake hands/congratulate as students go off…)

P.S.: Our classrooms aren't really like this; it's just a parody….

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